trial run

Oh man.

We are practicing for when I am at work for part of the day and Kenneth is in charge of Edie.
So I am supposed to pretend not to be here.
While she cries.
And every cell in my body is telling me to go get her.
Now.

I know it's inevitable, that when I do go back to work and have to be away from her, she will cry and cry. My body will leak milk and I will feel hopelessly adrift from my purpose, which is, right now, to respond to that particular crying infant with whatever she needs.

But I actually am home right now.
She knows I am home, so why the heck has Mama been ignoring her cries this whole time!?

This is dumb.