Lemon Trees and Dirty Streets

Ah, so this is what true, deep gratitude feels like. I have been truly, deeply grateful in the past, the last and biggest example being that time I held a brand new soul in my hands as she took her first breaths and told her "thank you for being here, for choosing us." And of course there have been plenty of moments since that one where I took pause and realized how lucky I am. (remember when you helped me attend Literary Star class?) It happens whenever that above-mentioned, still pretty new soul falls asleep after nursing, arching her body, smacking her lips a couple of times, and letting out a deep sigh before becoming perfectly still for a blissful stretch of time. When she sleeps, her face glows from within, and she looks like a completely different creature than the animated, squirmy, laughing and wild Edith Emily who grows faster and faster every day. I say a quick and silent thank you before getting up to do the things I cannot do when she is awake. I say thank you other times, for other things - these past few rainy days in LA have been heaven, getting out to walk the dog, our new bike seat and thus freedom, and new friends in town.

This gratitude right now is so different. This is the gratitude of a collective spirit, a world holding its breath to see about renewing that hope for the future. I have learned to be grateful for the blessings I have received; I have tried to be grateful for the blessings that others receive and sometimes succeeded, sometimes held hands with Lady Jealousy at the same time; and now, finally, I can feel the gratitude that belongs to us all.

For some odd reason, it gave me the energy to unload the dishwasher, throw the diapers in the wash, load the dishwasher, and wipe the counter tops, just in the last hour! Usually that constitutes a day's work for me, dragging my sad and homesick self between the chores and the couch while the baby makes do with a floorful of toys.

The effects of happiness are instantaneous. Hope for the future does wonders for a body. I feel ten years younger, twenty five pounds lighter. I'm not sure, but I think I might be falling back in love with America, that crazy b$@!* I am so grateful to be alive today, and that my daughter's first years will be spent in a changing society, under the leadership of the first African American President of the USA. As she grows older, I look forward to telling her stories about this election - how more people than ever before came out to vote because we were ready for a big change, a good change. The work is only just beginning, but I am so excited to see what we can make with this time, with this country.

At the same time...
Yes on 8? Come ON, California! You are losing some major cool points with me. As my friend Salvez pointed out, Oregon also has farmer's markets and ocean beaches. Equal marriage rights for same-sex couples was one of the only things that gave you an edge besides all the frozen yogurt places and the show Californication. I am very very disappointed in you, California, and I am counting down the minutes until we are on our way back to Pabst Blue Ribbon Beaver Bridge Town, where the air is clear, and the tap water drinkable.